I attempted to add from my own practices.

I tried to add from my own experiences.

Richard is a professional writer and author. When he’s not creating he’s actively pursuing his objective of becoming a cool billionaire.

The Over 40 Dating World

Life happens, and sometimes you find yourself in your 40‘s, single again, hopeless, wondering if you made the right life choices. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t but you can’t switch the past, you can only stir forward. Dating over 40 is not that scary if you think about it.

If you’re dating after 40, where do you look?

Know Yourself

Know yourself and be glad in your own skin. You can attempt to go to the gym, lose a few pounds, buy some fresh clothes and make the appearance of creating a fresh you, but what’s the point? Don’t get me wrong, being fit, healthy, and looking good can help you rise above the crowd but if you don’t stick to it then you’re working against yourself. You know your routine, the foods you like, the styles you love, so stick to what you know and be blessed with it. Embrace who you are and then you will have the confidence that is going to be needed in today’s dating scene.

Know Your Aim

Know what you are looking for. Don’t be guided by what your 20 year old alter ego dreamed in a relationship. Some people think, “I’ve waited this long, I can hold out until I meet my exact match.” Well, those people are still looking. I’m not suggesting you lower your standards, I’m suggesting that it’s time to be realistic. If you desire a lasting and meaningful relationship then it is time to drop your list of “must haves” and substitute it with some thought of how a potential fucking partner is going to treat you and make you feel.

Lose the Baggage

Check your baggage at the door. Nobody wants to begin a relationship with someone still living in the past. If you’re seeking someone your own age then it’s likely that you share some similar practices, such as a failed marriage, or health issues and its tempting to bond on those issues but bonding on a negative is like walking with two left feet. Similarly, leave the anger issues you have with your ex where they belong. Don’t assume the person you are attempting to bond with has ulterior motives, those are seeds that grow only to wreck relationships. Commence off with trust. Trust yourself.

Question Everything

Vet your potential date before you agree to meet. In today’s world, it is most likely that you will be meeting your potential dates online through some sort of dating service like Match.com or eHarmony. A natural progression would be: very first a few emails, then phone calls, then an in-person meet up. If you’re given an unusual specific time to call then that should signal a crimson flag. If you are having phone conversations and the other person does most of the talking, that too should signal a crimson flag. Conversations should be 50/50 and if the other person is predominant the conversation it’s likely they would attempt to predominate the relationship. Only agree to a very first time in person meet at a public place. This is where the conversation should kindle some sparks. No sparks, no chemistry, no 2nd date.

Don’t Rush

Take it slow. There is no rush to leap into a fresh relationship. A physical relationship is a natural progression. After 40, the anxiety over getting physical is an outdated reaction to seeking a casual encounter. Misinterpreting zeal for love is when trouble starts. People over 40 have more casual encounters with less guilt than our 20 year old alter egos did. That is because we know the quality of hookup is more significant than the frequency of hookup in a healthy relationship. Just reminisce, there is no reason to reach this progression of a relationship if there was no chemistry in the very first dates.

40 and Single

Those of us in the over 40 and single crowd know all too well how significant it is to find the right person instead of the right now person. We’re looking for something that we can’t provide for ourselves, companionship. Most of us are mid to late career people, who just don’t have the patience to play games. We’re looking for sincerity and honesty and we have spent our lives weeding out those that just don’t live up to our expectations. Communicating these expectations is where we fall brief, but when we’re in, we’re all in.

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Share Your Dating Over 40 Practices

Kristen Howe Two years ago from Northeast Ohio

Since I’ll be 40 next year, this was a good hub with interesting and helpful tips who are in their 40s and want a 2nd shot for romance. Voted up!

Richard Bivins Trio years ago from Charleston, SC

Thanks Sondra. I experiment a bit on the placement of the very first picture but the very first photo is always a Made for Pinterest picture which makes it fine for pinning and sharing on other social networks, even if you’re not doing the sharing. I attempt to put an picture or something side by side with a text module in order to keep it from looking too long to read. Polls and movies can be added if they add value to the content.

Sondra Rochelle Trio years ago from USA

I like the layout of this article as well as the way you produced the content. It looks so. clean! I can see I need to do some work on mine!

Richard Bivins Three years ago from Charleston, SC

Suzanne, you’re right about the quality of conversation you would have with people on Facebook or worse, Craigslist. The sites like Match and eHarmony charge a pretty hefty fee to be a member but at least the fee weeds out the less serious types. Funny too how pick up lines that might have worked in our late teenagers and early 20’s are just corny and ridiculous now.

Suzanne Day Trio years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Some very useful points here. I have attempted joining some singles groups on Facebook, but they are utter of sad old fellows who seem to want a right now person. Sick of people attempting to have a conversation along the lines of ",I’m a football player, wanna meet up?", Time to look at quality alternatives, like eHarmony or something. Voted useful and +d on WTH?

Richard Bivins Three years ago from Charleston, SC

Thank you Colleen.. I attempted to add from my own practices.

Colleen Swan Trio years ago from County Durham

Some good advice. When one is searching, other peoples practice is always helpful.

thomasczech Four years ago from Canada

excellent hub, voted up.

Richard Bivins Four years ago from Charleston, SC

Thank you Billy but to be fair, I’m not exactly a newcomer here at HP. This is a fresh account for sure but I am also writing under the pen of LiveWithRichard. Following in the steps of jimmythejock, I have determined to attempt my luck with an entirely fresh profile so that I can examine a particular niche. Working with Four years of collective skill should be able to skyrocket this profile past my original profile in a brief time.

Bill Holland Four years ago from Olympia, WA

A pleasant surprise from a newcomer here at HP. a well-constructed and well-written hub. Nice job, Richard. As for dating over 40, been there, done that, and found the love of my life in the process. Superb tips!

Richard Bivins Four years ago from Charleston, SC

Thank you nichellewebster. I think they fit just right too.

Nichelle Webster Four years ago from Silicon Valley

The photos are funny and on-point. I love them.

Richard Bivins Four years ago from Charleston, SC

Thank you jabelufiroz for the visit and the comment.

Firoz Four years ago from India

Fine article on dating over 40. Voted up.

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